I’m not sure who needs to hear any of this right now. Perhaps the writing is most therapeutic for me, which I guess is the inspiration behind today's post.
Truth be told, I was reluctant to touch upon this subject and will be treading lightly. I’ve only walked a mile in my own shoes and therefore will not pretend to know anything about anyone else’s journey down this long frightful germ-infested road. I don’t claim to be an expert on mental health or a life coach of any sort. I am just a girl, who has lost her job, (temporarily hopefully) like so many others out there during this pandemic outbreak.
For a lack of better word, it’s just plain scary. Overnight, our world completely flipped upside down, shifting rapidly into the lives were currently leading. Truthfully, on some days it isn’t so bad, I wake up to the sun shining in on my apartment and choose to find positivity in all that surrounds me. It’s those other days… when, God forbid, I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, because let me tell you, when it rains, it pours! My emotions run wild as I think of the job I lost (as a flight attendant) and the aviation world as we knew it. The fact of the matter is, it’s nearly impossible to imagine all of it springing back to life anytime soon, that thought alone brings a lump to my throat and a hard pit to my stomach. That was my world and it fulfilled me so much more than I ever really appreciated. It catered to my need for change and for adventure, it provided a small token of independence, and taught something new with every destination. That social butterfly in me flew rapidly to every single one of my work shifts. It’s terrifying to think I may not get that back any time soon and on that, I am convinced I’m not alone.
Everyone dreams of the world we once knew and on my bad days, it’s very easy to let these feelings take over and ruin my mood. I can easily sit back and compare my life to others. Upon serious reflection, I know I am unbelievably lucky. For starters; I’m just lucky to live in this country, I am also lucky to have the partner and best friend that I have, and I am obviously lucky that to this day, my friends and family remain healthy.
Reality check, I don’t think anyone's shoes are fitting just right lately.
If you think about it, we are living in such a strange time, COVID-19 has confined us all to our homes and brought most of our economy to a halt. We’re all experiencing confinement, bringing us so much closer to one another but despite sharing this experience, it’s the different variables that make confinement so distinctive from one person to another. Space vs no space, solitude vs companionship, kids vs no kids, work vs unemployment, financial stability vs none… what sounds better? What sounds worse? I think each one of these cases come with their own sets of challenges.
I have been working hard on my state of mind towards it all and thought perhaps my insight could be a helpful reminder to anyone out there facing similar challenges. I’ve realized that the grass most likely isn’t greener on the other side…and when you find yourself wishing for anyone else’s situation, take a breath and reassess. Their reality is probably just as challenging as yours, it’s just different. If you come to terms with this, you’ll eventually conclude that tending to your own grass is the only productive option out there. As previously mentioned, I am not a licensed therapist and there’s a chance my approach isn’t the one for you, it just seems to be working for me. The more I focus on my grass and the color I want it to be, the happier I tend to be. I think it wise we all give it a try. You just never know, with the right amount of love and attention, there’s a possibility you’ll finally lay eyes on the four-leaf clover that’s been tucked away all this time.